Indecision

My sister and her husband are going to be in Seattle on business this week and I get to play tour guide for her for a couple of days. I’ve been looking forward to this for weeks – but suddenly I am wracked with indecision!

What to do? Where to go? During the weekend I am fairly confident about going to downtown Seattle – but what about parking on weekdays? What about traffic on I-5 and on the ferries? How to manage the distance between where they will be in Everett and where I am in Redmond? How long DID it take us to get to Leavenworth or Bellingham or any of the other wonderful places we’ve been. Good grief! It shouldn’t be this hard.

And of course it isn’t.

I just finished reading a book called Indecision by Benjamin Kunkel. It’s about a young man named Dwight who seemed to have perpetual ‘Dwightness,’ seeming to everyone to just be the same old guy they went to high school with, unchanged by the years, basically because he couldn’t decide on any ‘next steps’ to take in life. Finally he decided (an oxymoron, you’ll see) that he had Abulia.

Abulia: Loss or impairment of the ability to make decisions or act
independently

So now I’m wondering if I have Abulia too. This would explain a lot. And maybe there would be medication to offset the symptoms? I could really use a treatment plan about now.

I’m sure this is yet another symptom of the lack of stability in my life at the moment. I’m sure I’ll get back to where I have some confidence in deciding some of the simple things at least. But for now…

I'm going to research Abulia. Maybe. Or maybe I won't bother. I can't decide.