Those embarrassing personal problems

Look through a magazine these days (or actually watch a few TV commercials) and you will be faced with a reality too horrible to contemplate: the stakes for social acceptability are appreciably higher in America these days.

Years ago we never realized we had dirty pores to clean out, or yellowed teeth to whiten or nail fungus to be rid of. What were we thinking? I never even knew I HAD to exfoliate. Now look at the array of products and services I have to buy to ‘keep things up,’ as it were. Pore-cleaning strips, teeth whitening strips, loofahs, creams, ointments and waxes. You can’t shave without 5 blades in your razor any longer – where will it end? Gray hair, dull hair, thin hair, curly hair, straight hair – all are ‘problems’ that can be fixed with the ‘right’ stuff. Heaven forbid someone should show up in today’s world with dandruff or sweat stains or wrinkles in their shirts. If you spill soup on your tie at lunch, it can be gone in a minute – but only if you have your handy laundry pen in your pocket. Wouldn’t want to be embarrassed…

And as if that isn’t enough, we must, by now, realize the need to botox our wrinkles, lazer our eyes, liposuction our fat, and surgically lift our jaw lines (and other parts as well.) As soon as problems appear! Early and often.

I blame advertising. Describe the need, present the solution. And, when all the needs have been met, up the ante by creating new ones. Then, sell, sell, sell.

(Before we had so many lawyers, we didn’t realize we had so many causes to sue other people when we got fat, either. We ate french fries at our own peril.)

Don’t forget to ask your doctor about getting a prescription for smoother joints, better memory, or ‘Happiness!’

I can hardly wait to see what I need next.