Comparative analysis

Mark is a psychologist. He may dabble in usability issues in software and websites in order to make some practical application of all that education, but at heart he is an experimental psychologist.  And that often means measuring things that are not easily measured - values, likes/dislikes, beauty, happiness.  One of the ways of honing down such otherwise unmeasurable 'stuff' is by making a comparison - which is better (or worse,) which do you want more, which would you rather be/do/live with/drink...

And so there is often a conversation at our house about Denise Richards and Oprah Winfrey.  It appears that they are on the bottom of nearly every comparison.  One might 'win out' over the other on a given scale but just about ANY scale comes down to one or the other.  It starts as a simple comparison:

Who is more irritating to listen to -
Dick Vitale or Chris Berman?  (Dick Vitale) 
Dick Vitale or Larry the Cable Guy?  (Dick Vitale)
Dick Vitale or the guy on the Ford commercials with the very low voice?  (Dick Vitale, still)
Dick Vitale or Judge Judy?  (Judge Judy - by a long shot!)
Judge Judy or Whoopi Goldberg? (Whoopi)
Whoopi Goldberg or Rachael Maddow?  (Rachael)
Rachael Maddow or Oprah Winfrey?  (Oprah)
Oprah Winfrey or... nope, sorry, can't think of anyone more irritating than that.

OK...

Who is skankier?
Sarah Jessica Parker or Kelly Osborne? (SJP)
Sarah Jessica Parket or Drew Barrymore?  (Drew, according to Mark.)
Drew Barrymore or Brittney Spears?  (Drew, again)
Drew Barrymore or Carmen Electra?  (Carmen)
Carmen Electra or Denise Richards?  (Denise) 
Denise Richards or...  We're at the bottom.  Really - think Denise Richards trying to play a Nuclear Physicist in that James Bond movie, and partnering with Charlie Sheen!

(I didn't say we were nice people, in the privacy of our own conversations...  And in our defense, it's been snowing here for 2 days and we're a little wonky.)



PS - Happy Birthday tomorrow, Carl!