What's for dinner?

When I first got married, some 35 years ago, I had to learn to cook, fast. I managed to develop a repertoire of 7 meals - one for each day of the week - and then repeated them, over and over. That's an embarrassing enough confession but here's a worse one: I'm sure that one of those meals was to boil some hot dogs and open a can of beans! (No, that marriage didn't last and we don't have to speculate about why any longer.)

Over the years I got better, even though at one point in my life the only things you could find in my refrigerator were a package of flour tortillas, a block of cheddar cheese and some chocolate ice cream.

I don't so much have 'recipes' as ways of cooking or particular things to serve. Of course many of my 'favorites' are favorites through the experiences and people associated with them. Food is so connected to feelings - it's no wonder I'm fat!

My mother's roast beef and mashed-potatoes-with-gravy holds such good memories for me that I make it often - don't even talk to me about cholesterol or calories. I had a friend who served Chicken Chalupas at a dinner party once, and I've served that dish myself to friends and family for 30 years (it was a great evening.) When I lived for years in rural Alaska, potluck dinners were our main form of entertainment and Jean Brown Chocolate Cake came out of that - yum! For that matter, my own famous Orange Stuff was a star at those potlucks as well.

I made a Shoefly pie for Mark many years ago and it is still his favorite pie - and the association factor there is undeniable for I've never known a non-native Shoefly pie eater with that much passion for the pie.

Although my teenage years weren't what one might call rebellious, my fast-food addiction surely comes from the feelings that 'stopping for french fries and a coke on the way home from a game' engendered. Scandalous.

My son, Todd, always wanted to make complicated, original foods - by standing at the pantry door and pulling out miscellaneous ingredients to combine into improbable culinary creations. He still likes to cook that way. Associations!

My father's tacos, Gail's Christmas breakfast, Janet's pizza, Eve's Thai food, Theresa's taco casserole, Carl's fruit pizza - mmmmmm - all delicious in and of themselves, but memorable for their associations.

By now I can make a different meal for months of dinners without repeating a single one. And none of those would involve hot dogs or canned beans. But through every one of them... comfort, friends, laughter, love… family.