Dear Martha,

I see that you’ve created a list, “Martha’s top 30 how-tos.” In my new issue of Martha Stewart Living it is described as ‘the 30 things everyone should know.” Leaving aside the fact that they are actually things ‘to do’ rather than ‘to know’ (presumably English conventions aren’t among them) the list still falls short, in my mind.

Although ‘create a home safety kit’ (#1) and ‘tie a bow tie and necktie’ (#2) are also high on my list, as I’m sure they are on everyone’s, I do notice an absence of things like ‘get a job’ and ‘drive safely’ and ‘balance your checkbook.’ I wasn’t disappointed to see ‘whip up an omelet’ – in that exact wording, of course, but I have to point out that devoting 2 items of what appears to be a well-honed list to ‘turkey’ seems, well, irresponsible. ‘Carve a turkey’ comes in at #15 and ‘Prepare a roast turkey’ comes in at #16. Irresponsible, Martha.

But I guess I really have to wonder at #8 – Make a Bolognese sauce and #30 – Put together a crudité platter. I've gotten along in life just fine without even knowing what these are! Of course I don't run in YOUR circles... But then who does?

(Evidently you can download a how-to booklet and view video clips on the website, marthastewart.com - no link provided - we can't encourage this stuff.)